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A New Year

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Jan. 3rd, 2010 | 06:20 pm

The paths that I once tread
Have all but gone
Only embers now smolder
Where bridges once burned

I feel alive and yet I fear
What may happen now
I know I can't return

And I hear me say again 'Oh let me not return'

Damn the illusions of redemption
And the hopes that held me here
I will oppose all that would befall me
With this rage inside of me
I'll defy what I would become

This solitude and anger
That do battle inside of me
Will always guide me to the answers
That I know I may not see
They are the bonds that hold me tighter
They are the chains that weigh on me
One day, I know they will become

Can I start again
And erase this pain
By casting doubts into the waters
Asking judgment of the sea

Though fortune, you guide the fools
I have no wish to be free
Until I am gone

No not suicidal. Just rethinking life. A new life for me. A new year, a new life. At some point you have to stand up and say enough is enough. It is better to have no friends than have friends that make you feel worthless. So I embark. New plan. Its me. I didn't use to hate spending so much time alone. I used to do it all the time. Miss my friends back in Florida, the ones that I could depend on to do nothing more than get me out of the house some days.
I have my books and I'm gonna start writing again. Maybe I will finish a story to get published. There's a thought. :)

So my resolution for this year...
Be OK with being alone.

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